Okay - I've read your script now, and I think there are a number of problems with it - not least, that you don't seem to be really capitalising on your object in any real sense. For example, one of the key strengths of your particular object is that it is a musical instrument - that it has a 'voice'. There are opportunities here to have much more fun with the idea of a tuba, who, now drunk, has hiccups or is playing out of tune. I don't really understand why your tuba starts off in a bottle-bank either. It just seems to me that you've written this story in such a way as the 'Tuba-ness' of your object is largely irrelevant. It could be any kind of object really, and I think that means you're not yet engaging with the story.
Imagine if your Tuba was part of a big posh orchestra in a big posh concert hall - and turned-up to work 'drunk' - think of the chaos and comedy that might ensue: see these links for some ideas on how you might make your story much more simple, but much more 'about' your object and its behaviour - and the logic that derives from it.
Okay - I've read your script now, and I think there are a number of problems with it - not least, that you don't seem to be really capitalising on your object in any real sense. For example, one of the key strengths of your particular object is that it is a musical instrument - that it has a 'voice'. There are opportunities here to have much more fun with the idea of a tuba, who, now drunk, has hiccups or is playing out of tune. I don't really understand why your tuba starts off in a bottle-bank either. It just seems to me that you've written this story in such a way as the 'Tuba-ness' of your object is largely irrelevant. It could be any kind of object really, and I think that means you're not yet engaging with the story.
ReplyDeleteImagine if your Tuba was part of a big posh orchestra in a big posh concert hall - and turned-up to work 'drunk' - think of the chaos and comedy that might ensue: see these links for some ideas on how you might make your story much more simple, but much more 'about' your object and its behaviour - and the logic that derives from it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYgcKEVh9n8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-nq5qcJVTE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y75ryZC8LB0